To Like or not to like


This is a complementary note on how we can work with the transition of emotions in the activity «the marshmallow experiment«. Observing the rise and fall of moods after receiving (or not) Likes to our posts and deepening into possible why’s to not getting Likes. After all, posting a beautiful photo on social media which is not liked by «our friends» mustn’t influence our mood too badly.

There may be innumerable reasons why our post hasn’t been «Liked» and far too many times I hear the comments «Ohh.. I don’t have many likes» or «I always like such friend post on Instagram and s/he never does like mine». Then a row of feelings rise and fall most of times generating negative emotions that sometimes lead to low self-esteem. Same goes for twits, by the way.

To begin with I would like to explore our feelings by looking at this «Feeling faces« chart: (1) first identify what is happening and how this is making me feel by choosing one or more adjectives from the chart; (2) then try to pay full attention to how not getting that expected like from our friend is affecting us (usually negatively) and (3) juggle alternative possibilities to the damaging thought «I am not appreciated».

The case being, maybe:

  • my friend is busy (just looking at a million posts with no time to «Like» them);
  • their phone is failing, jumping from post to post in automatic motion;
  • my friend actually likes my post and unlike me does not «Like» all they see;
  • I need all those «Likes» to boost my self-esteem and (perhaps wrongly) believe my friends are like me so I expect their «Likes» in return when I «Like» their posts;


And if the case actually is that our friend  has no interest in our post why not accept that

  • our friends have different interests to ours and that is right, and enriching as well;
  • perhaps we have grown apart and my friend now has new friends like myself;
  • it is not the end of the world not to get «Likes» and I still love what I am posting;
  • what other options can you name…
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